like defeat. You worked hard to make the marriage work. You valiantly struggled to love your spouse through thick and thin because you thought it was the right thing to do. You thought that nothing is impossible, and that two people committed to a marriage can survive almost anything. Yet still love is torn from your hands, and you are left with a smoking hole in your heart, not sure if you will ever love anyone again.
Emotions are best worked out through activity: community projects, work, classes, charitable opportunities. Activities like these help you to get out of yourself, your deep pity-pool, where you could seemingly dwell there forever. You also meet real people there to, engaged in life's more earnest endeavors.
It's better than going to clubs, immersing yourself in DVDs, reality TV, drugs or alcohol. Rebound dating probably will prove just as fulfilling. Time will brighten your outlook, and you can take hope in that.
Truth is, you have just gone through a transforming experience with this relationship and divorce. You may be have to start living a different life now. You have to give yourself some time to recover and better understand the new you.
You're still going to be dealing with the elements of your marriage: children, finances, child support, visitation, holidays, college for the kids, etc. Your family will still be with you, and you'll be dealing with your ex for a long, long time. Bitterness, anger, and frustration may still reside in your heart about him or her. It may be difficult to be cordial, or to escape from an icy reserve in your interactions with him or her. That's normal; but you may even gain them back as a friend as time goes on.
Constructivism for the future will always be a better choice that trying to point out "what if" scenarios to your ex, continually re-living past states of mind, trying to make them see your way. You have now been mercifully taken away from them, and that is something to be grateful for in itself. You are now much wiser in the friends that you can choose, the new relationships you make.
Take things slow, there is no rush. You don't have to prove anything to anybody. Just by being yourself, you are going to start attracting beautiful people into your life, and sooner than you may think, events, situations, and people are going to be taking you along to new adventures. Embracing the future helps the past to fade away, it make forgiveness easier, and it will fill you with joy and excitement. If you want some help further in dealing with your divorce there are a number of wonderful relationship info sites you can go to with helpful articles, videos and resources.
Paul T. White is a writer who deals with relationship and health issues. He has a popular website http://relationships2u.com/survive-divorce/
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